Jessika Gurule gives us a short glimpse into her world of addiction and subsequent incarceration. She speaks of her journey of finding herself amongst the challenges of prison life, her battle with addiction, and the importance of re-entry support through the Reforming Arts Program at Lee Arrendale State Prison.
www.reformingarts.org
RE-ENTRY
I need only to blink my I eyes and see the crowded halls of my
high school rushing by me. I was the quiet shy girl in the corner who only
smiles for fear of embarrassment at all cost. I lived for the theater and the
two periods of class that accompanied it. My seemingly endless contentment was
simply a mask for the violent drug addicted home that drained me of life day
after day. Eventually I surrendered to the same lifestyle as my parents. A
world riddled with addiction, violence, and far worse scenarios playing out
than you could ever imagine.
By twenty two this once over achieving honor student awoke one
evening kneeled over on a concrete floor drenched in tears of pain and regret.
I was hyperventilating for the realization that everything I once loved was
gone, including most importantly my sense of self. Fifty one is the number of
months that I served in at Lee Arrendale for drug trafficking. In that time I
took advantage of every program that was presented to me in hope of making
whatever change necessary to be healthy, happy, and productive in the world
upon my re entry. I quickly learned that the system is crazy and incredibly
inefficient. Society inside prison is a world unto itself. The monotony of prison life sucks you in to
some extent.
After a year at LASP I discovered the drama class taught by Wende
Ballew. In the beginning classes were raw, imaginative, and very open. The
class provided an outlet to express ourselves in a safe environment. Throughout
my time spent at LASP I had the privilege to be present and active in the
growth and development of Reforming Arts (RA). RA awakened my perspective on
the world and pushed me to constantly think outside of the box. The curriculum
was incredibly challenging. Personally, Reforming Arts gave me a renewed sense
of hope and longing to succeed and go to college. The classes teach discipline
while broadening your intellect without fail every minute that you are present.
RA continues to be my greatest support in re entry. Reforming Arts and the many
people involved in making it possible have helped me renew my long term goals
and work diligently to continue my education while thriving among society.
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